The best free bdsm sites

Would You Consider Going To A BDSM Dominant As Cheating On Your Spouse?

I'm asking this question here for a number of reasons, one being that I know the people are a little more open minded than most and have knowledge about many sexual issues most do not know about. The other reason is that I don't feel like explaining what BDSM is because when I do people get irked and think that it is "wrong" and "psychotic". Basically I want to know if you would consider seeing a BDSM mistress as cheatin on your spouse. My interest with my mistress is not for sex, handjobs or anything like that but she gives me what my wife cannot in terms of dominating. I feel bad that my wife would think I am nuts if she knows what I am doing and will not understand (we're from a tight-knit Catholic upbringing). I feel like I am cheating her in not telling her about this, but I do love her and want to stay with her. Do you have any words of wisdom for me? Am i cheating my wife?

Public Comments

1. Yes, you are stepping out. That is cheating.
2. if your not telling your wife, its cheating. maybe you can try to talk to her and explain your situation, if you cant communicate with your wife your needs, then there may be an issue you need to address in your relationship
3. Even though it's not for sexual reasons, it's still cheating in my book. Some people will say no. You should talk it over with you wife before you say she will go nuts. She might like the idea.
4. What the hell do you mean it's not sexual? You don't get sexual gratification from a woman dominating you? Than why, exactly, are you paying one to do it, while risking your marriage in the bargain? I'm not sure you are even being honest with yourself. You really ought to talk to your wife. I am sure plenty of women who are brought up Catholic are able to be open-minded towards the prospect of sexually dominating their husbands and perhaps even learn to be quite good at it. She probably would go nuts if she knew you were going to a pro, though, Which kind of answers your question for you.
5. i think you know this arleady, but, yea, it's cheating. You are stepping outside of the relationship. That is cheating. What do you do about it? I dont know. I strongly think telling your wife would be a disaster. That's not going to be accepted and/or blown off, no matter how you try to spin it so it does not seem to be cheating. So, either you continue on what you are doing in secrecy and learn to get past the guilt you are feeling OR, you stay strong to your committment to your wife and stop stepping outside your relationship. That's the best i can tell ya.
6. Yes, it is cheating. I understand your "need", but it is cheating. You will either have to stop, or accept yourself. Be very careful and discrete if you continue. The hurt you could cause will last a lifetime.
7. I would consider it it cheating on several levels such as financial for one if you are going to a professional, emotional, because some bdsm scenes can be very emotional a well as spiritual. I have gone to a few pros myself and enjoyed it immensely, but those times was when I was single. You are having an intimate scene with another woman, true it may not be what the wife can offer, but without her knowledge it is sadly cheating. I would advise "coming out" not necessarily with you have in the past, but as a whole with bdsm and explain it isn't some perverted act, but somethign that as you know involves alot of trust and intimacy with persons involved. It may actaully improve your relationship, as it has done with mine. Good luck..