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Question for dominant females in BDSM?

ok. i got a guy who wants me to dominate him and i see nothing wrong with this hes been my friend for two years and im not sexually attracted to him at all but hes sexually attracted to me. I want to but i see a lot of red flags in him and it might not be safe to go threw with it. sometimes i think hes not even as submissive as he says he is. for one hes pushy but he calls it being curious. (I know pushy when i see it.) 2. he doesn't listen. do you have to train him to listen or am i wasting my time? He gets turned on by pain. This is my first Submissive man i ran into that came out that he was submissive. but in reality i just don't trust this because theres just something about him that just doesn't say its right to do. like hes too interrested in sex for one or maybe thats a good thing i dont know. I need some serious help with this. 1. its this normal? 2. if i claimed him what should i do? or should i even go threw with this at all? 3. what are the traits of a submissive male? I really need some experianced dominant women here to help. i do alot of research on BDSM so as of now i dont have any experence. I just dont want my first thim to go wrong and be with someone thats just out to "get some" and not to worship me. in other words pretending to be something hes not. Thanx xian. what you said is very helpful. I'll let you know if i need anymore help. :)

Public Comments

1. wat
2. Stay away from him,and if he rapes you/has sexual "fun" with you call the police!!!!!
3. See how he kneels. Kneeling is a pretty much universal BDSM act. Of course, not universal but chances are if he's really submissive, he'll kneel and like it. If he acts like he doesn't want to, or asks if he can stand, and stuff like that then be suspicious. See how he reacts to direct orders too, especially ones that might not make sense. Not just straight up, "Please me" but like, get him to change clothes three times in a row with no comment about what he puts on. In my experience with subs, he'd pretty much just follow orders obediently and may be confused and disgruntled, but would say so later, if at all. See what he thinks about being collared, like with a padlock before he leaves so that you're the only one who can take it off, and intend to make him deal with it for a few days at least. You can buy a simple chain dog collar and padlock for less than $15. Try and put him in orgasm denial or restriction. Try and service him out for your friends. Try and make him carry your bags when you go shopping and just treat him like a butler. It should be obvious after a few of those if he's really submissive, or if it's just a sex thing. If he's just kinky and not into the lifestyle, then you can figure out what to do about that.
4. My response would be thus: 1) Just because he's pushy, doesn't mean he isn't sexually submissive. I know some people who are completely independent, strong, outspoken people in their everyday lives, who completely change when they get in the bedroom. 2) You feel like there' something wrong here, and I say you should trust yourself- when you have these tinges of feeling, it usually means that your intuition knows something you don't, or are trying to suppress. Listen to your gut. BDSM is about trust, first and foremost, and if you don't trust him completely, don't put yourself in that situation. The last thing you want when doing BDSM is for the rules to not be respected. I say you decline this offer. You note that you aren't sexually attracted to him, and while two people can have a good time playing without a sexual dynamic between them, it will make it that much better to have that, to not feel like "Oh, he likes me, maybe I should.", but rather "God, I want to dominate him so badly, and he wants it just as much!". I hope this helps.
5. You are both going far far too fast. Sit down with the guy, discuss your interests. Make him discuss his. Set up a time limit (a night, a day, a week, a month, a year????) contracts, safewords, and things of that nature. To figure out if he's genuinely submissive (it sounds to me like he isn't, but I don't know him at all) give him a few "mundane" non sexual tasks to perform for you (like washing your bath towels, or mowing your lawn) and see what happens. If he does the tasks cheerfully, you have yourself a genuine submissive male. If not, then you can train him (get in touch if you wish for tips on doing that). Remember: it is *your* desires that he must serve, not his own. Don't sell yourself short...only dominate him after you have him in the right mindset for the job. If you need any more advice, let me know!
6. I think you have a handle on some of the most important aspects of FemDom and the possibility that this guy might deserve to be your slave, and are very wise in that you are examining him closely before going ahead. The most important point is his sincerity. The true submissive seeks to place his Goddess's pleasure and desires before his own. This means that he should be ready and willing to serve you, obey you and worship you with every fiber of his being. If he is really doing this just to get his own jollies, then he is not a true submissive and will not be good slave for you. Unfortunately, there's a lot of posers out there, who like nothing better than to play head games but really have no intention of serving you. And there's also the wanna-be's, the ones who THINK they want to be someone's slave but then run for the hills when the reality comes around. Guard yourself against these two types. The training process of a submissive involves teaching a new acquisition the way you wish to be served and worshipped, and could involve specific tests to see where his head is at,, and whether he is truly interested in worshipping you. You are wise in seeking to write up a contract so that he completely understands what you expect of him. You may wish to include the words: "I promise to serve you, obey you and worship you to the best of my ability" and "I promise to put my own needs and wishes aside and concentrate fully on my Goddess's wishes" in his contract. All of that said, whether this guy works out or not, welcome to the world of Female Domination. It is a wonderful and amazing world full of pleasure and delight. With your wisdom and a little bit of luck you will soon have just the right slave and property serving and adoring you. Good luck! a slave