Getting a girl friend with similar kinks?
Hello, I was wondering if anyone has advice on finding a girlfriend who has similar interests as mine, I have a thing for B/D and I want to find a girl who loves submitting and being in bondage. Its not a "life style" or anything to that extent, but I would like to find one who enjoys being tied up and playing the submissive role. When dating if I ask to early most girls freak out, if I don't ask until I am deeply into the relationship and she says NO, then I will have wasted my time with somone I am not sexually compatible with. The BDSM "club" people are beyond the extent of my fetish, I feel that the type of girl who would go to one is not the girl who I wish to date. I am in college currently if that makes a difference, Thanks for any help that can be provided.
Public Comments
- I hate people who spent time online talking about sex fantasies... just get a girl and have normal sex with her...
- hey there was a girl who said she likes that and asked a question about it on here scroll through the questions you should find it :)
- I suggest slowly bringing it into the relationship. Handcuff your girl to the bedpost etc. Or tell her like "I think it'd be really hot if we ____ tonight/next time." Before sex let her know you're gonna take control. So in foreplay treat her like all you want is her.. and tie her hands up and explore her body by giving her oral. Women in Cosmo are always making up ways to introduce other things to get more pleasure from some position or whatever.. Perhaps it's a double standard. Hope you find a compatible woman. =]
- There are just fetish clubs around you??? I think the best way to find out early is just to ask a girl do you like to dominate or be dominated. If you find one that likes to be dominated and the more trust you have between you to the safer she will feel with letting you. I would all so look it to a way to advertise, thats not so obvious(like the support bracelets) something that symbolizes it to only those who would recognize the symbol. Not every one a a DBSM club id into BDSM some are just into BD. If you can't find something the symbolizes it make one up, like a leather strap bracelet or collar, or some kinda patch, ppl will ask and pick and chose who you wan to tell the truth to.
- I think the problem here is not asking too soon, but not asking too late, right? If that's the case, then maybe the time to mention it is when you are interested in someone, and haven't yet had sex, but it looks likely that you will. At that point, it would be easy to talk about how much/what kind of sexual experiences you each have had, and hopefully get a general idea if she is open to trying new stuff. I think finding a girl who may be interested in the level of b/d you are talking about is going to be surprizingly easy. You mention you are in college, so I'm assuming you are late teen/early adult and are wanting to date in the same general age group. Alot of sexual experimentation takes place in that age range, and college students are likely to be open-minded about such matters. You may hear a date express interest in something you had never considered before. How hard is it to say, "Hey, sometime we should give that a try...while we're at it, how about trying an idea of mine?" My advice is to date frequently, communicate with your dates, and really listen. Oh, and have faith...you'll meet the one you're looking for! Girls that are interested in b/d come in all shapes and sizes, and are sometimes hard to spot, but if you are paying attention, you'll find her. Good luck!!
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