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Bdsm - advice (dilemma)?

Jut thought i'd ask if anyone else has this problem. I'm dating a girl whose into being tied up etc etc but I have this odd mental barrier. All my life i've been told respect women, don't hit women (not that I was going around beating women up) and now she wants the complete opposite to what i've been told my whole life. It's playing havoc with my head.

Public Comments

Chain her to the kitchen sink , she will soon give up on the idea of being tied is fun
Think of it this way, she trusts and respects you enough not to actually hurt her but to play with her in a way that she actually enjoys, so its not hurting her. Play safe.
You don't have to beat her! Being tied up on the bed can be a very erotic feeling - tell you what, try everything once - tell her to do it to you first, then you will experience what she wants to.
It can all be done very softly and delicately. Try something made out of silk for rope, that's very smooth and wont hurt her at all. Member to lay ground rules down, make sure neither of you does what the other doesn't want
Ask her to guide you on what she wants and how she wants it. Once you get comfortable with doing it you will get pleasure from pleasing her.
Fetishes are often an eroticisation of our deepest fears; she's not really asking you to hurt her, just give her a thrill. Have you ever been on a fairground ride? A good ride is when it scares you half to death but you know you're safe. Think of yourself as the guy providing the ride. It's much the same story with physical pain; a good run will leave you panting for breath and you may be aching after but it's a pleasant rush at the same time.
First off get the idea out of your head that BDSM is about chains, whips, and pain. It goes well beyond that. BDSM is about trust. Try to understand and remember that playing with her in this way does not hurt her or disrespect her in any way. BDSM is a totally different context and has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with abuse or violence. Take it slowly. Communicate your feelings. Do research on the internet. And if you dont feel comfortable doing something, tell her.
I think you'd find that most people who enjoy BDSM play are very respectful and egalitarian when dealing with people in their normal lives. I love BDSM play, but in real life I'm a poster-boy for treating women (everyone, really) with dignitry and respect. That's what makes it kind of fun: a chance to slip off those normal rules of conduct and play around at being either a dominant or submissive person...sort of like how it would be fun to play the bad guy in a movie, even if you're the nicest person on earth. Find out what she finds appealling about that type of play, and don't be afraid to explore a couple of taboos with her.
You aren't trying to hurt her, use that as a gauge and see just what she likes. Don't hit her to start. Tie her up and blindfold her, tease her, make her beg you for more..........then don't give it to her. At least until you're ready
I was hesitant to hit my girlfriend at first. I would spank her @ss lightly, and she would tell me that I can go way harder, but It was hard for me to just hull off and swing. It just took time. I went a little harder every time and I realized that she could take it. Now I just let loose. I still pull back when I smack her face, but her @ss gets no mercy. You just have to watch her and gauge her reaction. And talk afterwords. say, "do you want me to go harder than that next time? or was that hard enough, or too hard, etc..." talk about it. You have to have very open honest communication when you're involved in BDSM. And always remember, she has a safe word, she's in control.
I have nothing to add that anyone else hasn't said. I just wanted to say that I am blown away by the intelligent, well-thought-out, completely dead-on answers to this question. Especially on a subject that people like to chime in on when in reality, they have no idea what they are talking about. You've gotten fantastic advice here. Take it. PS Where are you people on the rest of this site? EDIT: Most of the answers, anyway.