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How much is "too much" to hide from a significant other?

My girlfriend and I have been dating for just over a year. I came across some information from a reliable source. I'm 99.99% sure it is true. Highlights: 1. She worked as a submissive in a BDSM club 2. Had an abortion 3. Had several flings with married businessmen All of this before the age of 21! I can deal with the past - I'm not naive enough to think most women don't keep a skeleton or two in their closets. My girlfriend has always been fascinated by the sex industry - I feel she may have only been exploring. Only two things bug me: 1. Why didn't she trust me enough to tell me? 2. Is she still doing anything similar? I have no concrete reason to suspect the latter - but we do live 100 miles apart. We spend a fair amount of time apart, even some weekends. What do you all think I should do? We are very compatible and both admit we love one another deeply. But my trust in her is waning after this. Thank you so much in advance. Any advice would be helpful.

Public Comments

1. you should definitely ask her about it get it alll out in the open hear what she has to say and then deal with it after that
2. How did you find out about that? Depending on whether or not it was an underhanded sneaky way, you should bring it up to her casually in a conversation. Keep calm and ask her those questions.
3. WHOA. that's a lot to take in i bet. Well. I guess the real question is,..is she the same person who did all of those things. has she changed for the better? And do you believe in your heart of hearts that she is worth pursuing. Can you live with her faults?
4. When you look for stuff, your bound to find SOMETHING, that's your punishment for looking... don't you wish you didn't look now?
5. How did you find out these things? If you found out in a way that's above board, I think you won't be in hot water for snooping. Then there's the problem of how much does she owe you about her past? You have to decide whether these things she did can affect your future with her. Only you know that. Then after you have decided, you might choose to tell her what you found out, and tell her you aren't angry with her for not telling you, but hoping she trusts you enough to know you care for her no matter what she did. Then you have to be courageous enough to accept all of it without ever throwing it in her face! I told my ex husband about some things, feeling safe at the time. But he later threw it in my face in a very degrading way. So women usually don't like to share with men these kinds of things because we'll hear about it later and regret sharing. So if you can't handle it, you have to consider that too. You sound like a really nice guy, and I hope your relationship works out. Sincerely...M
6. Maybe these were just things she wasn't too proud of and would just rather have forgotten. She may or may not be doing anything similar, but, you have been with her for a year, you should know her pretty well, and until she proves herself not to be trustworthy, then you need to believe in her. Does she know all your skeletons in the closet? There's probably something you hope she never finds out right?